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The Boy is Me

How do you use the stories of your own experience to bring your client’s stories to life?

A powerful question to ask yourself is, “Where is their story in me?”

Making the Personal Connection allows you to reach deep within yourself to call upon emotional intelligence that connects you directly to the story, so you can then convey that story to another.

In first person, a recent client makes a connection from his past to reach an emotional state that would be very difficult to find if he were searching for it in thin air. This resulted directly in a more powerful Opening as well as having a new approach to be able to solidly frame his entire case story.

 

“The Boy Is Me”

The boy has autism.

The boy is nothing like me.

The boy had to have assistance his whole life…

The boy is nothing like me.

The boy drowned in a pool.

The boy is nothing like me.

The boy just wanted to go swimming that day, free of assistance. He snuck away. No one was watching.

He drowned.

That boy is nothing like me.

One of the crossroads in my life, the crossroads that you asked me to find in this character, this boy?

My road A…My pain is my isolation.

My road B…The place I want to get to? Road B is my acceptance.

Isolation. I’ve never fit in. I’ve always felt like I’ve had to be this person versus that person, and it’s never just one person. It’s everybody I feel like I need to be. The isolation that comes from my family telling me to stifle and bury my emotion.

Could that boy be a little bit like me after all?

What does he want? Does he want to fit in?  Does he want to be in a world where he doesn’t have to use crutches to get around? Does he want to be himself all the time and people can love him for who he is and not what he looks like? Does he want to be defined by something other than his disability?

Yes, that boy is a little bit more like me.

The boy is in a dark cave, a mental, physical, and emotional prison most of the time. And his anger comes from a very real and honest place. It’s the anger of having to have an assistant help him interpret, help him connect, help him communicate, when he’d much rather just do it on his own. He wonders why he can’t just be free. Why he can’t he just go swimming when he feels like it.

That boy is actually a lot like me.

The boy is in a dark cave, a mental, physical, and emotional prison most of the time. And his anger comes from a very real and honest place. It’s the anger of having to have an assistant help him interpret, help him connect, help him communicate, when he’d much rather just do it on his own. He wonders why he can’t just be free. Why he can’t he just go swimming when he feels like it.

That boy is actually a lot like me.

And so he gets into the pool and he swims. He feels a little bit guilty because his mom told him not to swim that day. And he knows that the assistant wasn’t watching him and he knows that the 3 lifeguards may or may not be watching him. There’s a lot of people in the pool, yet no one is really watching. It’s crowded, so he’s invisible once again. But it feels good to be invisible in this way because he’s swimming. He gets a chance to be like everyone else in the water. So he goes out a little bit further into the deep end… keep going…

Everyone’s laughter is ringing in my ears…Now it’s too late, I can’t move, I can’t get up and I’m crashing and crying for help. But nobody sees as I sink to the bottom.

That boy’s fear is also my own fear. My fear of not being accepted, of not being loved… And dying before I’m born.

That boy is me.


Working With You And Your Team

I’d love to discuss working with you and your team on your next case. Please feel free to give me a call. Among the pre-trial and jury trial consulting that I share, here are other ways to benefit from Tell The Winning Story:

  • Law Firm CLE Customized Workshops
  • Executive Silver/ Gold/ Platinum Coaching Programs
  • Monthly CLE Accredited Workshops
  • Webinars